Since I was a little girl, my mum has always instilled in me the knowledge that I “speak things in to being” – if us kids ever said anything negative about ourselves (or others) mum would literally make us “take back our words” and replace them with something positive.
I remember when I then got my first full time job in an Accounting firm as a junior administrator, and was responsible for answering and transferring calls. There was an exceedingly wealthy and successful business man who would always call to speak to his accountant and the first time I was ‘lucky’ enough to answer the phone the conversation went a little like this;
Me: “You’ve called Acute and you’re speaking with Anna how can I help you”.
Him: “Hello Anna, it’s <man> here, how are you today?”
Me: “I’m not bad thank you for asking, how are you?”
Him: “So you’re terrible then are you?”
Me: “no no, you might have missed heard me I said not bad”
Him: “no I heard you perfectly fine you just have horrendous language around trying to tell me you’re well. Next time Anna someone asks you how you are, instead of saying two negative words, ‘not’ and ‘bad’ why don’t you try saying ‘well’.
Me: “I absolutely will, and transferring you through to <name> now.
I remember actually being quite shaken after that call – interestingly, because he wasn’t trying to be mean but to a young impressionable (albeit wild) 18 year kid being schooled on language was so far out of my usual and I knew forever more “not bad” would be stricken from my vocabulary. In fact, working my way up in that company to then Receptionist and Office Manager I would train the new junior administrators on that exact language and what not to say.
Language has always therefore been so huge for me, and as I’ve gotten older and read more books, it’s gotten even MORE important to me.
Then, as I’ve written about countless times before, I picked up my first personal development book, Awaken the giant within by Tony Robbins and there was a whole chapter on language and speaking to the power of our words and how they truly shape our whole reality.
It was like a slap across the face in the BEST of ways again.
I then went from formalities of saying things like “well” and “fine thank you” when people asked how I was, to saying words like “I’m exceptional” or “I’m amazing thank you!” or my favourite “I’m extraordinary thanks for asking how about you” …
I learned that even in the moments that maybe I wasn’t those things (I get you can’t be lickity schmick all the damn time of course) but saying “shit house” or “not bad” or “yeah ok” was FAR worse and going to attract much of the same bad, ok or shit house feelings and things in to my life. Where as exceptional, amazing and extraordinary – well, guess what I then get to attract more of in to my life. Bingo.
I have practiced bettering my language consciously now for 8 years, and I STILL every single day beam ear to ear when someone (without fail) replies back to my “I’m amazing thanks for asking” or “ I am phenomenal” with “oh gosh that is just the best I have not heard a response like that in years (or ever). So even on the days I maybe don’t feel thatttt phenomenal but I say it, I immediately DO feel phenomenal because a) I am manifesting those emotions and feelings in to my life, and b) I immediately do feel phenomenal because of the response it illicits back from those I am connecting with, and what a gift that is.
Then something profound and cool happened just yesterday; whilst reading my current book, ‘You are a bad ass at making money’ by Jen Sincero, I was yet again reminded of how much BETTER even I can do. This particular chapter was on watching your language around money as obviously the Universal Intelligence (God, the universe, aliens, unicorns, allah – whatever your jam is) is ALWAYS listening and providing you more of what you want.
Now, you’ve just heard I have been consciously working on this ‘stuff’, on my language and ensuring I choose my words carefully every single day for 8 years now so you’d think I would have been pretty across this idea but I was slapped in the face AGAIN (best slaps ever though right) and woken up to the fact that in actual fact, when it comes to MONEY my language isn’t where it should be.
In the book, Jen listed out the following. She said we need to be aware of when we (and those around us – because you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with don’t forget that) say the following;
I want (because it means you lack).
I wish (because its saying you’re not in control which is disempowering).
I need (saying you don’t already have it = lack again).
I can’t (well, that one is obvious!).
I’m trying (and trying isn’t ‘I’m committed now is it).
I hope (showing you lack faith, as it might not happen).
I should (sooo maybe you will or maybe you won’t).
I don’t know (spoken as truth, slams doors shut on finding the truth).
Brilliantly though, Jen then went on to also list MAGNIFICENT replacements though .. so instead of the above the book offered up to try saying instead….
I’m grateful for
Put super simply and cleanly because everybody loves it laid out as obviously as possible we need to follow the table below …
|INSTEAD OF SAYING THIS ….||SAY THIS INSTEAD ….|
|I want||I have|
|I wish||I create|
|I need||I’m grateful for|
|I can’t||I enjoy|
|I’m trying||I can|
|I hope||I will|
|I should||I choose|
|I don’t know||I’m trying to work that out|
So instead of saying;
I can’t achieve that as I honestly don’t know how I’ll ever get there…
We can say instead;
I enjoy that I am learning every day on how I AM going to achieve xyz as I know I will get there.
Instead of saying;
I want < insert business or personal goal here > ..
We can say instead;
I have all that I need to achieve < insert business or personal goal here > and am so grateful that abundance is all around me.
Whether you believe it or not the truth is, we truly are manifesting and bringing about our reality every single moment of every single day with every thought we think and word we speak, and I know that I know that I know, even these small little changes at the start of my sentences can and will drastically change the course of all of our lives.
We have the decision every single day to choose, choose what we are thinking, choose what we are saying and therefore choose what we are manifesting and creating, and I as of this day, I am committing forevermore to getting to that level of specificity with my language, and if you’re so called to as well, I think it’ll all just help in consciously moving this planet forward to LOVE that little (a lot) more.