There I was, justtt starting to go in to the amazingly deep, peaceful place I go when lying in savasnah after my weekly yoga class, when something came in to my mind so bright and bursting with vivid colour I knew I had to pay attention.
It was me. Sitting there literally watching my life flash before my eyes. The key moments that had contributed so deeply and richly to my time on earth.
I was frozen. In savasnah. I literally felt like I couldn’t move, like something was pushing down on me and I was wrapped in so much heat and love.
I couldn’t look away. Iwas seeing me in my minds eye and I was just so happy. So fulfilled.
And I lay in that moment and allowed it all to wash over me.
I know where it had come from too – days before, I had woken at my normal 5am time and was SO full of amazing energy I had to share it (my cleanse and detox I’m currently on is to thank for that), and this is what came out (shared on Instagram and my facebook)…
“I woke up this morning with so much love & gratitude I could burst. This is life. This is real life. We have a life to live Exactly how we Desire it to be. I need you to know the power of that. You don’t know when your time is up, you truly don’t. Are you driving to work wishing you didn’t have to go?? Stuck in an unhappy relationship? Are you unhappy with the person who stares back at you in the mirror? WHY?? You are totally in control of your life. Every second of it. What are you doing to bring as much love, joy & fulfilment in to your days? We have time, plenty of it – 24 hours a day to do one thing that scares us, makes us laugh, fulfils us, to smile at a stranger, laugh with our loved ones, cuddle the shit out of our favourite people or pick a new goal or dream to chase. Our time on this earth is sacred – use it wisely. I want to be screaming & laughing, tearing up & clapping wildly when it’s my life that has flashed before my eyes & I wish the same for you”
Days later when I had allowed my mind and body to rest I literally envisioned this exact moment – and you know, it was so emotional. My saw before me that my life had been lived exactly how I wanted it. I had loved, sohard. I had left everything on the table. I had given, travelled, laughed….the feeling envisioning this was unexplainable.
There was I, sitting watching my life crying and laughing and hooting and throwing popcorn at the scream clapping wildly.
And something clicked. Harder than it ever had before.
I had an uh-huh moment.
Instead of giving you direct advice today I felt it so strongly on my heart to instead just share my own uh huh moment so you can hopefully take something from it.
So here goes.
This is my life and I am in total control of how it can be lived. Im here. In these moments. Every day I wake up. Living. Alive. Breathing. Gifted day after day after day with more time.Time to connect to our source of love and fulfilment. Time to fill our days with things and people we love. Time to be in a moment so great and so full of love it doesn’t feel real. And I don’t ever want to get in the way of that. I don’t ever want to let the insecure me or the self doubting me or the un sure me or the fear me get in the way of the Real me. The me who believes in herself. Who wants to live every.single.day as if it really truly is my last ever day on earth. The me who gets to live life exactly as I hope, wish and desire it to be. And sure, they’ll be losses, disappointment, let downs, anxiety, complete uncertainity and deep deep moments of sadness– and I’ll surrender to those moments, honour those moments, mourn the moments – but know in my heart that I’m still here. Living.Alive. Breathing – and that is the greatest gift imaginable.
At the end of this life as I watch back over my life and take in the moments, the love, the travel, the laughs, the giving, the tears of the joy and sadness…I want to be so filled with love, so filled with joy, so filled with emotion knowing that I had lived those moments, lived my life by my own design, and know that I took control of that and had given ME those moments. I truly honestly want to be proud of the life I lived, emotional at the life I lived and be crying and laughing and hooting and hollering so loud remembering all of the moments I shared.
And giving me all of that starts NOW.
I want to help. To serve, to uplift, to inspire, to laugh, to love – I want to live. As though heaven is on earth and if I died today those who I loved knew it with all their soul and I had lived each and every day doing exactly what I desired with a heart full of love and a belly full of gratitude.
Your turn gorgeous; What is the one thing you could do today that would help you feel loved, happy, accomplished, excited? Share it with me below so you feel more accountable to go DO THAT THING