Is there really the one?
I remember when I was a little girl and being told of this mystical theory that everybody had that one somebody out there who was their soul mate, their ‘the one’. I thought the same thing back then as i still do today and that is – you don’t have ‘the one’, love and soul mates are what you want it to be and are only as amazing and awe inspiring if you put the work in.
The thought of a soul mate when I was growing up honestly stressed me out. I used to think ‘but what if my soul mate happens to live half way around the world? What if i never get there and we never meet?’ Im serious. So my partners in the meantime are just in betweeners? People there who sure I loved but weren’t the one, so it was me just biding my time till I met the one?
That just wasn’t’ an acceptable theory for me growing up.
The other question I used to ask mum as I got older concerning soul mates was this. What if, just what IF I find a lovely man who I wed and was blissfully happy with, and he dies in a tragic accident, but I then go on to find and wed another lovely man who makes me equally happy. Which one is my soul mate? A little deep for a teenager huh but I felt that if people were trying to tell me there were limited soul mates for every person in the world, how stressful that would be.
See, the thing is though, in my opinion, either one could have been my soulmate. If we worked hard at our relationships my time with them would have been rich and full of love so who or what is to say that neither of them were better than the other or was more of the one than the other?
There is a saying that goes – You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your own grass it would be just as green.
I love it, simply love it.
I think that sums up my belief about love being what you make it and what you put in perfectly. Too many of us are looking for bigger and brighter sparkles outside of our relationships instead of tending to our own relationship. In lamen terms, we think the grass is greener over the other side of the fence, instead of tending to our own grass (relationship). But guess what? When you have found a great partner who loves and supports you unequivocally then work at it. Work at it hard. Don’t be thinking if they may or may not be the one for you. What should be your focus is fighting through harder times, relishing in the good times, enjoying every other time in between and nurturing your love as you let it grow and grow – your own grass will get greener and greener. You don’t need to think is there someone else out there for you who might be slightly taller, a little more understanding, a little tidier – if you work hard at this love, your love, and make your own relationship amazing the term soul mate becomes more apparent.
I’m not saying that every boyfriend or girlfriend is your soul mate either. What I am saying though is don’t question if you’ve found the one if you’re happy and fulfilled in a relationship. To me, your ‘one’ is whoever you choose it to be, whoever makes you happy, whoever is willing to fight as hard for your relationship as you are and who loves you, unconditionally.
There IS no such thing as “the” one. You have lots of ones, you just have to find the right one. your one.