Is there really ‘The One?’


Is there really the one?
I remember when I was a little girl and being told of this mystical theory that everybody had that one somebody out there who was their soul mate, their ‘the one’. I thought the same thing back then as i still do today and that is – you don’t have ‘the one’,  love and soul mates are what you want it to be and are only as amazing and awe inspiring if you put the work in.
The thought of a soul mate when I was growing up honestly stressed me out. I used to think ‘but what if my soul mate happens to live half way around the world? What if i never get there and we never meet?’ Im serious. So my partners in the meantime are just in betweeners? People there who sure I loved but weren’t the one, so it was me just biding my time till I met the one?
That just wasn’t’ an acceptable theory for me growing up.
The other question I used to ask mum as I got older concerning soul mates was this. What if, just what IF I find a lovely man who I wed and was blissfully happy with, and he dies in a tragic accident, but I then go on to find and wed another lovely man who makes me equally happy. Which one is my soul mate? A little deep for a teenager huh but I felt that if people were trying to tell me there were limited soul mates for every person in the world, how stressful that would be.
See, the thing is though, in my opinion, either one could have been my soulmate. If we worked hard at our relationships my time with them would have been rich and full of love so who or what is to say that neither of them were better than the other or was more of the one than the other?
There is a saying that goes – You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your own grass it would be just as green.
I love it, simply love it.
I think that sums up my belief about love being what you make it and what you put in perfectly. Too many of us are looking for bigger and brighter sparkles outside of our relationships instead of tending to our own relationship. In lamen terms, we think the grass is greener over the other side of the fence, instead of tending to our own grass (relationship). But guess what? When you have found a great partner who loves and supports you unequivocally then work at it. Work at it hard. Don’t be thinking if they may or may not be the one for you. What should be your focus is fighting through harder times, relishing in the good times, enjoying every other time in between and nurturing your love as you let it grow and grow – your own grass will get greener and greener. You don’t need to think is there someone else out there for you who might be slightly taller, a little more understanding, a little tidier – if you work hard at this love, your love, and make your own relationship amazing the term soul mate becomes more apparent.
I’m not saying that every boyfriend or girlfriend is your soul mate either. What I am saying though is don’t question if you’ve found the one if you’re happy and fulfilled in a relationship. To me, your ‘one’ is whoever you choose it to be, whoever makes you happy, whoever is willing to fight as hard for your relationship as you are and who loves you, unconditionally.
There IS no such thing as “the” one. You have lots of ones, you just have to find the right one. your one. 

17 Comments

  1. Ella Ainsworth Reply

    Very wise words!! I am a horrible culprit of seeing the greener grass in everyone but myself with lots of things… Instead of turing into the Green monster i use them as inspiration to “water my own grass” (or at least try too).
    Love on the other hand is so different! You will never ever to be able to compare one love to another as they are sooo different which is what makes your grass so green to everyone else.
    I have been blessed to find my one love and no matter what it appears like only J and I will ever know what we truely have. That is what makes it so special!!! No matter what happens that day, he will be there rain hail or shine!
    The funny thing about love is that when you go looking for it, it wont come… Love comes when you least expect it!

    • Anna Reply

      I think we allll are Ella – it’s the nature of the beast so to speak but our grass is just as green. I always think another way to look at it, is whilst you’re thinking the grass is greener in somebody elses life, they will be looking right back thinking the same thing about your own life! We’re such fickle things us humans.
      You have been very blessed indeed – it’s so amazing when 2 people are lucky to find the right one for them and you have been lucky at a young age 🙂 I agree to not go looking for love though, it really does pop up when you least suspect it 🙂 xx

  2. Cindy Reply

    Wow I’ve never heard that quote before but it certainly does ring true! This was a really beautiful read 🙂

  3. Izzy Reply

    just like that other post I read on your blog from the 29th June, I agree so whole-heartedly with this post! The saying is so accurate- I’m going to save it in my list of quotes. Let’s not waste our time envying what others have or being bitter thinking about what our life could be. If we just work on what we already have we could create something beautiful.

    And yeah, I always thought it was a little cynical of me but I’ve never believed in “the one” either. Personally I feel that the reality is, we find the best SOs in the people we never expected to be with. There is no prince charming patiently waiting somewhere out there- in my opinion, we help create them!

    metallicpaws.blogspot.com

    • Anna Reply

      I love how much thought and care you put in to your comments Izzy – they’re always a joy to read. I’m glad to help add to your list of quotes, I have my own list and love adding to it when i find gems on other girls blogs 🙂 It’s soo true though, we are the creators of our own Destiny’s – so its up to us to create the beauty and sparkle in our own lives and relationships.

      I am surprised at how many other people share the same belief – it’s refreshing!! I know I certainly never thought I’d end up with my polar opposite but it works for us 🙂 We have to be the princesses riding to meet our prince charmings. xx

  4. Miss Laia Reply

    Beautiful post very wise words and pictures I completely agree with you, and the pictures you have used are very pretty.
    Love
    City-aholic.blogspot.com.es

  5. Anya Volkov Reply

    It’s funny you used that grass quote because I actually said it to a friend this morning, it’s one of my favourites! Something I never applied until recently and what a difference it has made while I am tied to uni here (while my heart is constantly pulling me away!)

    Great post once again Anna!

    • Anna Reply

      How in sync we are never ceases to amaze me – this is just another oddity to add to our list of saying or posting things at the same time! xx p.s EVERYTHING about you at the moment, your energy, words, blog posts, are telling me that your feet are so itchy to get away! I can’t imagine the adventures being planned in your head right now x

  6. Outside Looking In Reply

    Very wise!! I love the “grass is not always greener” quote. I use that one a lot!!

  7. Eve.H Reply

    I believe that everything in life happens on purpose. I was in love with several guys but never really dated any of them. It all finished sooner than it started but I learnt from that so when I met my present boyfriend I knew what to avoid while talking to him, or texting him and I´m glad it never worked out with those guys before him. Great post as always, Anna. Hope you´re fine and enjoying the weekend 🙂
    xo Eve.h

    • Anna Reply

      Ahhh Eve our stories are very similar then 😉 I love how two different woman, from complete opposites sides of the globe, can find so many similarities in each other. You speak with such love and kindess of your current bf so I know you have a good one with him 🙂 x

  8. Yuriy L. Reply

    Looks like I’m the only guy posting here =) But your words are wise and deeply resonate with me! Thank you for the post.

    There is a great talk on the topic by a Buddhist monk Ajahn Brahm – if you want to delve in further and understand what makes us think grass is greener on the other side, and how to overcome it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhydgIBdrB8

    Yuriy
    http://www.wisdomtraveler.com

    • Anna Reply

      You are the only guy Yuriy but I love that!! 🙂 I’m glad the post resonated so much with you. I always always write from the heart and everything I write about I truly believe it is meant to be read by someone who needed to hear those exact words. I got 10 minutes in to that video but need to watch the rest over a morning coffee so I am giving it my full undivided attention. He speaks with such truth though – and in such a calm monotone!! Thank you so much for sharing.

  9. Bree Reply

    Anna, thank you for your comment.
    That qoute is so true. It’s a pitty
    that some people seem to forget it.

    xx
    me-travelleroftheworld.blogspot.com

  10. THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE Reply

    Absolutely true! I’m lucky that I did fine my one right from the very beginning. Fast forward almost 26 years later and here we are. But I do believe that everyone needs to find the one that’s right for them. 🙂 xoxo

  11. hope in high heels Reply

    You are absolutely right, as usual. The strength of your relationship reflects the time, energy and thought you both put into it. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone other than lovely husband C. so I make sure I never take him for granted and we both work at our lives together and couldn’t be happier. Hope you had a lovely weekend x

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