Last night I couldn’t sleep.
I tried, and tried and tried, but I had all these thoughts swirling around my head and on the rare occasions that this happens (not being able to sleep from thoughts) there is always something that I do…
“Morgan, hey baby are you awake”
“hgnagogngoag” (his noise he makes to tell me sort of, but he would be more so if I didn’t just ask him if he was awake).
“I need to talk about something so I can go asleep”
“babeeeee. Is it important ??”
“Everything is important” (haaaa – not really because sometimes I’d like to talk about unicorns and my affinity with glitter but recognise that probably isn’t important to Morgan at 11pm at night)
“Ok baby I’m awake, what’s up”
“I need to just talk about this whole notion around opinions vs empathy”
“that’s what you woke me up for? To talk about your opinion on opinions”
….. and away the conversation went.
You see, here is the thing, the older I get, and hopefully SOME the wiser, if there is one thing I am learning for sure it is this.
There is absolutely no one person who is right over another when it comes to opinion. I believe, (and this is just my opinion of course – ha) that when it comes to opinions, who is honestly to say who is right and who is wrong. You are BOTH right.
Because it’s all just perception at the end of the day.
I know it’s a touchy subject, but I don’t care, as it’s SUCH a great example to use to articulate my point the best – and that is, the global women marches that have recently happened (for whatever reason it happened, I am not getting in to semantics).
As a HUMAN (not a woman, a human) I am super proud of all the women (and men) who marched showing unity and solidarity globally. I am also proud of women (and men) who decided to post their support of it on their social media and get behind something they believe in (aka have an opinion).
But guess what?
As a HUMAN (not a woman, a human) I am also equal parts proud of all the women (and men) who chose NOT to march and feel that that in itself was showing unity and solidarity globally for whatever they believed in. I am also proud of the women (and men) who decided to post their lack of support on their social media and not get behind something they didn’t believe in (aka have an opinion).
BOTH of those decisions was based on their belief systems and values and PERCEPTION of what it stood for, making it their opinion.
I am not about to argue and get upset by someone elses opinion, what I WILL show however is empathy.
Neither was technically right but neither was technically wrong – it just is what it is. It is their opinion, and because that opinion is based off of their perception of what THEY believe in – really if you actually thought about it they’re BOTH in fact right.
THAT is why, you need not ever get upset or worked up over another person’s opinion. Its not YOUR truth, it’s THEIR truth and that’s ok.
And I know what you’re thinking, (those that disagree with this sentiment because your opinion differs so you think you’re right …) “what a weak stance to have, she needs to grow a back bone and stand for what she believes in”.
And to that I say;
I have a backbone, and I have a range of opinions on a range of almost every topic, the difference is, I don’t get angry, spread hate or say things in the heat of the moment when someone has a DIFFERENT opinion to me.
I simply recognise that my own opinion is based off my own belief set and values and perception of how I personally view the world which could be the polar opposite to someone else’s belief set and values and perception of how they personally view the world giving them a completely different opinion.
That isn’t to say I am right and they are wrong. Or that they are wrong and I am right.
That’s just the thing about opinion, we are both right because we both believe it with our whole soul.
I swear on everything I love, the day I really fully truly actually understood this very sentiment – was the day my life became calmer, happier, less drama filled and did I mention happier?
You are religious and have some super strong religious beliefs? Awesome.
You are atheist but believe in the amazing power of the universe? How beautiful.
You are a feminist and get angry about a lot of things? Good for you.
You are a woman who is anti feminists thinking they take us back 200 years. Bravo.
You are someone who vehemently argues for adopt over buying a dog from a breeder? I think that is beautifully noble of you.
You are someone that is an ambassador about buying a dog from a breeder vs a rescue as you know then you’ll have your forever dog and it won’t end up in a rescue shelter? All power to you.
You see – it doesn’t matter what side of the argument you’re on, your both right, and there is not point getting angry and being mean or loosing sleep over someone elses opinion.
What people believe and therefore stand up for is THEIR truth.
And what you believe and therefore stand up for is YOUR truth.
Your truth is your truth and generally speaking, no one can take that away from you or change your mind on it, and I don’t think they should.
There are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule as well, I am not saying we just have to walk around and be zen to all opinions and accept them with no recourse. When I am talking about with all of the above I just have, I am talking about the opinions that obviously don’t hurt other members of society – every day stuff that is discussed far and wide in and offline. If someone has a violently differing opinion to you that is generally upsetting, by all means, use your internal indicators to know that that doesn’t bode well with you. You still however don’t have to get in a big debate with them, because I can almost guarantee its not going to change their opinion anyway – you just get the wonderful choice to unfollow, or unfriend or close that chapter with having them in your life. Simples.
The best part about this whole piece I have just written as well?? It’s just an opinion 😉 One you may agree or disagree on, but that’s just the best part, if you DO disagree, its your first chance to put in to place the whole idea of not getting upset or angry about someone having a differing opinion and simply accepting this as MY truth, and being ok with that.
The world doesn’t need more separation and arguments, it is crying out for more empathy, and it starts right here and now, with you.
And I promise you, truly deeply wildly promise you, that living in this way, will make for your most peaceful and calm life yet.