Regular readers will know of my business I started awhile ago now – Possibly Maybe. Its a dating website and its for 18 – 30 year olds. On it however, I like to post regular articles I write on Dating Advice be it love, relationships, or experiences Ive gone through. You can find all my previous ones I have posted on my blog here, including advice on change, getting over your ex, and being more approachable.
Today’s one though is on something important to all of us in all aspects of our lives …
RESPECT – Where has it gone?
That 7 letter word we love to hate
I have a real problem and become incredibly disheartened when I see or hear people judge too harshly or criticise too quickly. I wonder …. since when did it become ok to judge someone or a situation from the outside without any understanding of that person (or situation)?? As far as I’m concerned, It didn’t. And yet, somehow this has become the norm. There seems to be a huge culture shift away from respect and I don’t know if it’s because society is moving faster than ever these days or just because people have stopped caring – but whatever the case, it’s not ok people…
It’s not ok.
Everybody is different. These differences happens from different life experiences, to different values sets, to just different understandings of situations. Having everybody being so different however doesn’t make one person wrong and you right, so what is the lesson to be learnt from this?
To Respect & to be understanding.
These are 2 fundamental character traits that everybody needs to at least try to live by to criticise and judge less.
So how can we become more understanding people? I don’t unfortunately think it can be ‘learnt’, there has to be fundamental desire within you to not judge someone just because you don’t understand them. After all, that is why you judge isn’t it? Not because it’s fun, – I hope not anyway – it’s because somebody has done or said something that doesn’t particularly bode well with you, it’s not to say they’re right or wrong, it’s just that its different to your own beliefs.
In light of wanting to at least try to invoke some change in respectful behaviours, here is my general advice on becoming a more understanding person. I never claim to be an expert on anything, and again re iterate it now, but believe there is never any harm in sharing.
So here goes …
Realise that just because someone says or does things differently to you, it doesn’t make them wrong and you right.
Stop yourself before you open your mouth to criticise someone next time you go to do it and think, for just a moment, why in fact they might be the way they are.
Always believe that somebody is fighting a harder battle than you are, it should help you to not judge others if you realise that maybe they act or talk a way for a reason.
Teach yourself to not let things that are insignificant get to you – they shouldn’t bother you anyway.
Start enjoying peoples differences and behaviours – instead of being so harsh about them. It’s a gift that people are different, what a boring world we’d live in if we were all the same.
Gain perspective, however you can to realise that a harsh comment here or a judging look there is so trivial.
After all, who are we to judge another person’s life?